Paralyzed From the Brain Down - April 3, 2020

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To say the past weeks have been weird is an understatement. I have been trying to work from home, but it's difficult. What's worse is that I'm home more, but am completely unable to paint! I'm paralyzed and I can't figure out what's wrong. My husband says all psychological problems are inherently fixable if you can articulate what the problem is. So when I can't articulate it, I feel worse, like it's only ME standing in the way of feeling better. If only I were smarter.
One fun thing is that my siblings and I are all talking more online. Yesterday we had the best conversation because one never-available-when-we-group-call sibling actually took part! Unfortunately, they also got mad when I took a (lot) screenshots. I touched up one of the screenshots to show how they should really feel about me. 

I'm thinking of downloading some filters for my next meeting at work and looking like the potato lady I can't stop laughing at this picture. 

And laugh…

The Best Day So Far - December 29, 2019

It's funny how one day can hold so much wow in it.

This morning I went to a church service for another denomination. My husband's son, Alex, attends a foursquare church here in town and plays in the worship band. He invited us to listen to him perform today and I accepted on behalf of the family. We walked in and sat in the back row - just like visitors do in our own church - haha on us.

Shh! Don't tell anyone I took a picture during church!

I listened to the worship band and watched the words to their songs on the screen over their heads. I heard the prayers of some of the congregation as they uttered them aloud. The congregants were very kind and engaging during "stand up and introduce yourself to the people around you" - we need that in our church!!! Alex was wonderful to watch as he played. He really loves belonging to this church.
This is Alex. I could actually hear the guitar! I can NEVER hear guitar in regular music. :) He was so happy when I told him I could pick out his playing during the song.
The pastor spoke about the story of David and Goliath. His words spoke directly to my heart - it was truth I needed to hear and I needed to hear it in the exact way he put it. I love that truth is truth no matter where you hear it - I love God and how he arranged that. The pastor asked us to think about the giants in our life - the ones that mock God and call us out and threaten us with destruction. Then he reminded us that we can call upon God like David did - he was the only one of the Israelites who remembered that God was with them. He challenged Goliath in the name of God and then took his stones and put them in his sling and had faith that God would take his efforts and magnify them.

And he took down the giant. With God's help.

I have a giant in my life, too. We all do. But I have been focusing my efforts on conquering the giant wrong. I have been asking for help with the giant, but I haven't picked up my stones or put them in my sling. I haven't charged up to my giant and thrown my stones. I've simply asked that the giant be destroyed.

I need to do my part. It's like the thing where God will steer your boat, but you have to row to go anywhere. I need to row.

Then we went to our own church service afterwards. The last Sunday of the year is a really special service and I was looking forward to it. It's the day where people get to come up and talk about their  favorite hymn and tell us how it strengthens their testimony of Jesus Christ. Then we sing it.

I play the organ on this Sunday every year (this is the 3rd time we've done this). I asked a silent prayer before the service that the Lord would be with me while I played and magnify my feeble efforts. You never know what's going to be "requested" (I don't know a better term - maybe SPRUNG ON ME WITH ONLY 15 SECONDS TO PREPARE) and so you aren't always sure if you can play what they ask. This time I could! Of course I made some mistakes, but I played every one of the songs. I LOVED IT. My heart was so full, my eyes kept tearing up and it was hard to see the music. We were all laughing and smiling and the chapel was so full of the spirit. Music really is a prayer unto the Lord.



I am so lucky I get to play each year. (The other organists think they're dodging a bullet - little do they know this bullet is worth taking)

I came home after church and sat down at my art table. I decide to change how I went about painting. This time I would begin with a prayer and ask the Lord to magnify my efforts as I tried to express myself through art.







Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

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