Paralyzed From the Brain Down - April 3, 2020

To say the past weeks have been weird is an understatement. I have been trying to work from home, but it's difficult. What's worse is that I'm home more, but am completely unable to paint! I'm paralyzed and I can't figure out what's wrong. My husband says all psychological problems are inherently fixable if you can articulate what the problem is. So when I can't articulate it, I feel worse, like it's only ME standing in the way of feeling better. If only I were smarter.
One fun thing is that my siblings and I are all talking more online. Yesterday we had the best conversation because one never-available-when-we-group-call sibling actually took part! Unfortunately, they also got mad when I took a (lot) screenshots. I touched up one of the screenshots to show how they should really feel about me. 

I'm thinking of downloading some filters for my next meeting at work and looking like the potato lady I can't stop laughing at this picture. 

And laugh…

Deep Thought - January 5, 2020

I've been having the best time painting more hearts. I'm limiting to two (sometimes three) colors with white and occasionally a metallic. These pictures really don't do them justice - Mayan Blue Genuine looks gray. Perylene Green looks black. Neither are this dull in real life.

Scroll through to look at the pretty pictures. The text between them is all my deep thoughts for the day. Sunday is a day for deep thoughts.

Mayan Blue Genuine is my favorite color lately - it is very sedimentary! The mineral separates out almost immediately - pale washes are perfect to put salt on and see the magic. 

Today was another day of wonder. It's hard to put into words all of the realizations I've been having about life and purpose and possibilities. 

Perylene green really is more vibrant than this picture shows! Here it looks black. Ugh.

Today was the first day of church on our new schedule. I have to tell you, starting at 9am is just as bad as going to work at 8am. On the other hand, Carol Channing sat next to me with her kids and I love her youngest son. He lets me scratch his back and seems like he loves me a little bit. It's nice to have a kid that lets me touch him (my kid is touch-phobic :( ). We had testimony meeting today at church - an interesting experience since we have a lot of interesting people in our congregation. 

This is a party heart. The colors are happy! The metallic powder is 3-dimensional and the Mayan Blue is so beautifully sedimentary. Aaaaahhhh....
While I don't get much out of testimony meeting (sometimes they are great, but mostly they are uncomfortable), I do get a lot from Sunday evening scripture study over at the Hansens' home. Tonight we talked about the introductory sections of the Book of Mormon. Actually, we didn't get much further than discussing the first page and then getting distracted (not really) with talking about Joseph Smith. It dawned on me (and I will NOT get mad at myself for taking 51 years to realize this) that everything that happened in the church happened because Joseph asked a question. It wasn't God coming down and saying DO THIS and then DO THAT. Joseph would be translating the BoM, come across something, pray about it and then God directed something. He prayed to know which church was true. Then he prayed to know his standing before God (Moroni happened). Then he was translating and came across the passages about baptism. He prayed about that and then the Lord directed him and Oliver in that ordinance. Then more and more things happened. But everything that happened was because he asked in the first place. His mind was active, alert & attentive to what he was reading or seeing or whatever.

At BYU, I remember a particular class where the teacher said one of our jobs was to learn to ask questions - the "right" questions. I think about that all the time. I know that when something sticks like that, it's important, but I've never known what questions I'm supposed to be asking. I guess I can take a page out of Joseph's book and just pay attention to what I don't understand and then ask about that.

This one is very martial, isn't it? Also, the dark spots look like Groucho Marx, but the blue is perfect. 
Martin talked about when he gained his testimony of the scriptures. Then he gave a little insight into how he's learned so much about them - it really has been line upon line and precept upon precept. He has been studying for nearly 40 years.

My desk is a happy mess with everything I'm learning right now. It's lovely.
A few years ago I realized that I have trouble comprehending what I read. It got to the point that I stopped even trying to read non-fiction text (cookbooks, art books and craft books aren't text-heavy so I still indulge in those). Brian is one of those guys who can remember everything he's read. It's like he's a genius. I count on him to read things and tell me about them, but he doesn't do it as much as I'd like. :(

This guy is Brian and he's kind enough to be married to me. He really does put up with a lot.
I think the first thing I need to ask in my prayers is for the blessing of reading comprehension. And to get that, I need to read more than cookbooks.


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