Paralyzed From the Brain Down - April 3, 2020

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To say the past weeks have been weird is an understatement. I have been trying to work from home, but it's difficult. What's worse is that I'm home more, but am completely unable to paint! I'm paralyzed and I can't figure out what's wrong. My husband says all psychological problems are inherently fixable if you can articulate what the problem is. So when I can't articulate it, I feel worse, like it's only ME standing in the way of feeling better. If only I were smarter.
One fun thing is that my siblings and I are all talking more online. Yesterday we had the best conversation because one never-available-when-we-group-call sibling actually took part! Unfortunately, they also got mad when I took a (lot) screenshots. I touched up one of the screenshots to show how they should really feel about me. 

I'm thinking of downloading some filters for my next meeting at work and looking like the potato lady I can't stop laughing at this picture. 

And laugh…

The Best Laid Plan(ner)s - February 28, 2020

In November 2013, I started working at a new place in the library. My new boss was a formidable woman who scared the living daylights out of me. I had heard she was always watching for you to be goofing off and I dreaded being called out for that.

My sister Meagan (may she rest in peace) gave me a pretty little blank book some time before this. It was red leather-ish with an embossed heart on it. Starting my first day of work, I determined to keep track of all the stuff I accomplished so I could never be accused of not working (great job environment, right?).

In high school a friend and I invented a secret alphabet code what I have actually continued using whenever I want to write something just for myself. The letter combinations or shapes change and morph over the years, but I'm usually able to suss out what I wrote after enough puzzling. That first day, I wrote out all my fears and worries and concerns about the new job. I wrote about hopes & dreams and complaints and wishes, all safely coded so no casual snooper would be able to know what I really thought of my boss.

SEVEN years later, I'm still using that book at work. It's sort of a to-do list keeper. There will be weeks where I use it every single day and then a month without writing in it at all. It's fun to see what I've accomplished over the past years and how some things are the same and some things are totally, wonderfully different (the scary boss lady got cancer and retired very suddenly - she's better now, but thankfully moved away so I don't have to see her - I'm scarred)(I should probably work on that).

The red heart book has been a lifesaver at work. It's easy to carry around to meetings and it houses everything I need to keep track of. It's easy to see on my desk & easy to keep safe. It occurred to me that I could use something like that here at my art desk. When we went to the Getty (le sigh) last week, I should look for something beautiful in the gift shop. Museum stores are my absolute favorite places to shop. There are so few places left in the world with interesting things for sale.

I found this:

Already I've got plans formulating. This is going to be a good thing in my life.

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