Paralyzed From the Brain Down - April 3, 2020

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To say the past weeks have been weird is an understatement. I have been trying to work from home, but it's difficult. What's worse is that I'm home more, but am completely unable to paint! I'm paralyzed and I can't figure out what's wrong. My husband says all psychological problems are inherently fixable if you can articulate what the problem is. So when I can't articulate it, I feel worse, like it's only ME standing in the way of feeling better. If only I were smarter.
One fun thing is that my siblings and I are all talking more online. Yesterday we had the best conversation because one never-available-when-we-group-call sibling actually took part! Unfortunately, they also got mad when I took a (lot) screenshots. I touched up one of the screenshots to show how they should really feel about me. 

I'm thinking of downloading some filters for my next meeting at work and looking like the potato lady I can't stop laughing at this picture. 

And laugh…

Refreshment - February 22, 2020


This week at work has been exhausting so I was really looking forward to our trip to the Getty today. There's something about this place which allows me to reset. 

It poured off and on during the drive. Brian's a very confident driver.  I am the worst passenger because I gasp everytime the smallest thing happens.  I guess I'm deathly afraid of dying in a wreck.

I've been here so often I don't really look around much at the art unless there are special exhibitions. It seemed like there were several exhibits being prepped in closed-off galleries so I just went and looked at Irises by Van Gogh. I was the first visitor to the gallery and HAD THE ENTIRE PLACE TO MYSELF (except for Kenneth's friend who was hanging out with me)(Kenneth was off being cranky) ). I got up close and looked at it for a good long while. I love thinking about the strokes of paint and how he was making something unlike anyone else.  What a blessing to be able to make what YOU LIKE in spite of what the world tells you. 


Look, his signature! First name only,like Cher or Madonna. Haha! There's a big space between the last two letters and he underlined it. When I was a teen, I thought handwriting analysis was true. The underlining would have been an emphatic call for attention and the odd spacing would have presented the possibility of a break of some sort - distancing or forgetting or an incompleteness... (I wish handwriting analysis was true) (except that the way I draw my lowercase t's means something's wrong with me, so everything except that).

His friend was really chatty and I finally made him go find Kiff a little while later just to have a moment's peace. He called me a half hour later asking if he could come hang out with me again. I told him to wait until our agreed-upon meetup time only TWENTY MINUTES LATER. Teens are a little harder than I imagined...


There was a special exhibit of pastels.  I like the antique supplies the best. Do supplies represent possibility to me? Is that why I collect so many?


The REAL reason we went to the Getty today was it was community day for Pokemon Go and Brian and I had a ball catching pokemon. It's the thing we like doing together because we can be together but quiet. The friend kept coming and finding me when he got bored or Kenneth was cranky. 🙄 Being thirteen is hard! I remember... (sorry mom & dad)

Next time we go, I think we're going by ourselves. 😁

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