Paralyzed From the Brain Down - April 3, 2020

To say the past weeks have been weird is an understatement. I have been trying to work from home, but it's difficult. What's worse is that I'm home more, but am completely unable to paint! I'm paralyzed and I can't figure out what's wrong. My husband says all psychological problems are inherently fixable if you can articulate what the problem is. So when I can't articulate it, I feel worse, like it's only ME standing in the way of feeling better. If only I were smarter.
One fun thing is that my siblings and I are all talking more online. Yesterday we had the best conversation because one never-available-when-we-group-call sibling actually took part! Unfortunately, they also got mad when I took a (lot) screenshots. I touched up one of the screenshots to show how they should really feel about me. 

I'm thinking of downloading some filters for my next meeting at work and looking like the potato lady I can't stop laughing at this picture. 

And laugh…

My Morning

I was woken up at 7:30am this morning with a phone call from my sis-in-law/sitter. Could she please pick up the kid in 15 minutes? So I got out of bed and went into the kid's room. He'd been up for about an hour in the middle of the night, crying for no good reason, so he was still asleep. That keening wail he does when he's asleep-crying is so hard to listen to - it cuts me - so I was awake for awhile afterwards. Of course, he was still sleeping. Quietly. Too bad you can't save quiet sleep for when you really need them to use it - at night! I picked him up, breaking my back by leaning over his bedrail, and hefted him over to his brother's bed (Alex only uses the bed four nights/month - it's a good extra space). There I peeled off his sleepers and changed his diaper. Kiff woke up slowly - smiling first with his eyes closed and turning over to hide under a pillow. Naked, butt up. Attractive! He has a small hole at the base of his spine that stares up at me when he does that. My almost-perfect baby...

So we got dressed and he ran around the house collecting toys to shove in his pocket to take to his aunt's house. I'm of two minds about that - one, that he's taking all his toys and he'll lose them, but two, he's taking all his toys and leaving my house clean! Hurray! Too bad for auntie's house.

She was late so we played outside for a bit. We found weedy-flowers growing in the lawn (they are pretty). Kiff thinks all flowers smell so he tries to sniff everything I call a flower. I hate leaving him to go to work.

If I had my wish, I'd be at home all day. I love being home. Of course, I am superstitious and think that if I say that, I'll be struck down with unemployment...

Enough rambling. Off to bed...


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