Paralyzed From the Brain Down - April 3, 2020

To say the past weeks have been weird is an understatement. I have been trying to work from home, but it's difficult. What's worse is that I'm home more, but am completely unable to paint! I'm paralyzed and I can't figure out what's wrong. My husband says all psychological problems are inherently fixable if you can articulate what the problem is. So when I can't articulate it, I feel worse, like it's only ME standing in the way of feeling better. If only I were smarter.
One fun thing is that my siblings and I are all talking more online. Yesterday we had the best conversation because one never-available-when-we-group-call sibling actually took part! Unfortunately, they also got mad when I took a (lot) screenshots. I touched up one of the screenshots to show how they should really feel about me. 

I'm thinking of downloading some filters for my next meeting at work and looking like the potato lady I can't stop laughing at this picture. 

And laugh…

Bakersfield Sunsets

The rain and clouds have made for some stunning sunsets. When I was in college, I'd come home between semesters and go out in the backyard every evening to watch the sunset. My family was very into watching TV - which I hated, so I ran away to be alone and quiet. Being outside, looking up at the sky, made me think about things bigger than myself. Any concerns I might have didn't usually go away, but the mental break made me forget, even if it was just for a little while. My favorite time of day is just when the sun is going down - it's magical looking at the sky, trying to figure out exactly where day ends and night begins...

My future hangout, our backyard, is going to be a work-in-progress for a while so I won't be able to meditate back there. But once it's habitable, watch out! I'm going to be the sunset queen again.


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