Paralyzed From the Brain Down - April 3, 2020

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To say the past weeks have been weird is an understatement. I have been trying to work from home, but it's difficult. What's worse is that I'm home more, but am completely unable to paint! I'm paralyzed and I can't figure out what's wrong. My husband says all psychological problems are inherently fixable if you can articulate what the problem is. So when I can't articulate it, I feel worse, like it's only ME standing in the way of feeling better. If only I were smarter.
One fun thing is that my siblings and I are all talking more online. Yesterday we had the best conversation because one never-available-when-we-group-call sibling actually took part! Unfortunately, they also got mad when I took a (lot) screenshots. I touched up one of the screenshots to show how they should really feel about me. 

I'm thinking of downloading some filters for my next meeting at work and looking like the potato lady I can't stop laughing at this picture. 

And laugh…

Quiet and Thoughtful


For several weeks now, my mother in law has been ill. The last time she went into the hospital it was decided to stop taking extreme measures and let her live out the rest of her life at home with hospice. I was fortunate enough to be able to stay the night with her a couple of times to help out.

This morning she died. I went over to the house (they only live a mile away) to be with the rest of the family until the mortuary could come pick her up.

She looked so peaceful there on the couch. I looked at my mom-in-law and felt such gratitude to have known her. She really loved me and I knew it. It feels so good to be loved without any thought of having to earn it or pay for it.

Good-bye, Joan. I love you. I bet you are having the time of your... real life? right now...

Comments

brandi said…
~to honor her wishes and allow her to come home and be as she wanted is the best gift you all could have given her...each knows when enough is enough and as hard as it is for the ones standing by who care so deeply and may not be ready to let go...i believe you all made the right choice...here's to celebrating Joan...may she be at peace enjoying her new journey that is...sending comfort and love this day and those to follow...much love light and blessings shining brightly upon you and yours~
Anonymous said…
It must be hard for you right now to have lost such a person in your life, but hopefully with time you will be able to look back and treasure the moments you had with her, and see the peace in how you contributed to her perfect ending. It has been two years since I went through something very similar with my beloved mother-in-law Kay.
Jo Murray said…
A sad day for you all Fiona. Your mother-in-law was obviously surrounded by loving, caring family. She is now at peace, and will remain part of your daily lives in your hearts.
whitesilkpurse said…
I'm sorry for your loss. I wish for peace to fill your hearts and homes.

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