Small Successes

As I have mentioned before, I am a librarian. Ours is a poor system with little public support other than cries of outrage when library services get cut. These cuts have meant that fewer of us are doing more work. I say more work because people have been coming out of the woodwork to use the library. We are bustling ALL THE TIME. Most of the full-timers work at multiple locations to get in our 40 hours. Until the 3rd of July, I work at two locations. After the 3rd, I will work at three.

Today I was working at the main library downtown. After less than an hour of our doors opening, I'd already handled two certifiably crazy people. By 11am, I was tired of presenting a compassionate and understanding face to the public. I wanted them to all go away. Unfortunately, that blah-ness lasted all day.

And then Brian called me at work just before closing and asked if I wanted to go out to dinner. The kids had been stolen for the night by their aunt and we had free time! We decided that we wanted to go somewhere new and each of us said we'd look into possibilities.

We decided on Frugatti's - an Italian place. It was really packed (and noisy - there was live accordian music playing). I wanted to try something new so I chose lamb medallions and garlic mashed potatoes. I hadn't had lamb since I lived in London during college and didn't remember how it tasted.

While we were waiting for our food, I confessed to Brian about the trouble I was having with my folding books tutorial. I could see the wheels turning in his brain and was a bit despairing. My husband, very intelligent, sometimes tries to solve problems he doesn't fully understand. And then he gets frustrated when I tell him thanks, but no thanks. I didn't want to ruin dinner! Anyway, after I told him what I was trying to do, he asked me a few questions about the focus of my tutorial. And as he asked me questions, I finally saw what I was trying to do clearly! Emboldened with this small success, I told him my other frustration - how to explain the patterns. He listened as I explained what I needed to show and some ideas I had on how to do that. As I explained, he made small comments and I found my problem being solved. I became more and more excited, seeing how THIS COULD WORK. I probably overwhelmed Brian with my giddiness, but he's getting used to it after nearly five years.

I wasn't that hungry anymore because I was so excited about the tutorial not being my Sword of Damocles anymore. (That's probably not an apt metaphor, but I've felt it hanging over me for so long that I'm going to use it anyway. So there.) My lamb medallions came. The garlic mashed potatoes were made with butter and roasted garlic and I thought I'd died and gone to Heaven. The lamb tasted like meat. Brown meat. Tender brown meat. I tried the mint jelly that came with it, but it was just too weird. It looked like green Jello. I kept expecting it to taste like lime candy. Yuck. I even ate the asparagus with herbed mayonnaise. It was a very grownup experience, eating vegetables without being forced to do so. And they tasted yummy.

We got to-go containers for our leftovers and I kept babbling a mile a minute to Brian when I saw a familiar face walk by. Someone I knew from work was there with his wife. I've always admired this person and was proud that he'd seen me there, too. I wanted him to notice that I'm cool, too! It's sad that I'm 42 and still feel as insecure about myself as I did when I was in high school.

We came home and I laid down on the bed to read my Sookie Stackhouse book (the sixth one?). Brian fell asleep next to me. It's been a good day. (And I only feel a little bit guilty for eating a baby baa-baa)


Allyson said…
I love you Heather. Life is good. Thank you for the example you are to me.
Heather Eddy said…
Love you, too, sis. :)
Nancy said…
I can fully appreciate getting an unexpected dinner date with your spouse. Even though my youngest is 14 the time my husband and I get to be alone and have a conversation without 100 interruptions is very rare. Glad to hear your tutortial is one step closer to being realized.

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