Paralyzed From the Brain Down - April 3, 2020

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To say the past weeks have been weird is an understatement. I have been trying to work from home, but it's difficult. What's worse is that I'm home more, but am completely unable to paint! I'm paralyzed and I can't figure out what's wrong. My husband says all psychological problems are inherently fixable if you can articulate what the problem is. So when I can't articulate it, I feel worse, like it's only ME standing in the way of feeling better. If only I were smarter.
One fun thing is that my siblings and I are all talking more online. Yesterday we had the best conversation because one never-available-when-we-group-call sibling actually took part! Unfortunately, they also got mad when I took a (lot) screenshots. I touched up one of the screenshots to show how they should really feel about me. 

I'm thinking of downloading some filters for my next meeting at work and looking like the potato lady I can't stop laughing at this picture. 

And laugh…

Contemplation


Those talking-to's my bosses gave me last week have gotten me to thinking about similar incidents I've had over the years. So many of the rough spots I've been in in life have stemmed from times when I've acted in the same way. In other words, I'm seeing myself in a new light and it ain't a pretty sight.

I talk too much. I'm many other things besides this that I'll never share in my blog - it's hard enough to share them with myself. I read a passage in my latest favorite books that sums up a quality I never valued before, but am doing so now:

" You have a grand gift of silence, Watson," said he. " It makes you quite invaluable as a companion."

And there is a scripture from the New Testament about Mary where she took all these things and pondered them in her heart.

I wonder what would happen if I were quieter...

Comments

RoMo said…
It is a gift, being able to keep your mouth shut. And it makes people wonder what you're thinking.
Holly said…
I never thought you talked too much. I tend get quiet around people, and I have had plenty of complaints that it makes them feel like I'm judging them. People don't want silence; they want you to ask them things so they can talk about themselves. You're fine and lovely and the jerks who made you feel otherwise are just venting at the only person who actually WILL talk to them!

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