Paralyzed From the Brain Down - April 3, 2020

To say the past weeks have been weird is an understatement. I have been trying to work from home, but it's difficult. What's worse is that I'm home more, but am completely unable to paint! I'm paralyzed and I can't figure out what's wrong. My husband says all psychological problems are inherently fixable if you can articulate what the problem is. So when I can't articulate it, I feel worse, like it's only ME standing in the way of feeling better. If only I were smarter.
One fun thing is that my siblings and I are all talking more online. Yesterday we had the best conversation because one never-available-when-we-group-call sibling actually took part! Unfortunately, they also got mad when I took a (lot) screenshots. I touched up one of the screenshots to show how they should really feel about me. 

I'm thinking of downloading some filters for my next meeting at work and looking like the potato lady I can't stop laughing at this picture. 

And laugh…

Deep Thoughts

Sometimes there are just too many ideas and thoughts in my head. After a while, I don't know what I like anymore and what I've just seen so often that I'm confusing familiarity with inspiration.

I've been reading a bunch of young adult books from work. One thing about reading about 15 year olds is that I start to think like a 15 year old. It's bringing back all these memories and I'm realizing that I'm not much different now than I was then. I still don't know what I like.

I wonder what my style is with my art. Do I make word beads and folded books because they are truly me or because I get attention? (It's pathetic when you think about it) Do I do it for the money? I say I want to be an artist, but am I looking to create art or a "product"? Is it okay to do both? How come I don't feel right about either answer?

What would Jesus do, indeed... Can you imagine asking Him that question? I wunner what He'd say. Probably that I think too much.


Caroline Armijo said…
I have these same thoughts periodically. They seem cyclical and especially strong lately. I wish that I could just be content and stop thinking about what I want to be when I grow up. Or what I could sell...

I love your book origami.
Heather Eddy said…
Sometimes I think that thoughts like this persist in my mind when I'm supposed to do something about it. That's one reason I wrote it out this time. Maybe I'll figure out what to DO! (Or not, as the case may be)

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