Frustration

Sometimes there are just so many things I want to do that I get frustrated. There is only so much time in the day and the majority of it is taken up with work. I think it's because the past two days have been spent interviewing librarians for two positions we have here in our system (including one at my branch). Work piles up at my branch and I get met practically at the door with every problem that's occurred during my absence. Sometimes walking through the door is like passing through the gauntlet. Or drinking from a fire hydrant. Either one is death.

The things I would rather be doing don't include anything to do with the library, but they are inspired by my working in a library. Several months (maybe even a couple of years) ago, I came up with an idea to pursue with my painting. I love orthogons - the divisions of space that bring balance and order to the composition of a painting. I came up with an idea to paint pictures of books - lining up on shelves or laying in piles or, or, or! I could play with the idea of size of book, with the placement on the shelf, leaning or straight, piled or standing. To say nothing about color or additions of words/decorations (that would only be done in bits and pieces - nothing to overwhelm the initial design of the piece).

But after a long day of work, commuting, picking up kids, fixing dinner, interacting with kids, cleaning kitchen, baths, bedtimes, etc. I am tired. Not just physically, either. It's a case of the spirit is willing, but the flesh is completely incapable.

Tired. Sometimes I want to have a minute to get my brain back and do something to make my heart come alive. For now, though, I have to go take care of the baby...